"Sorry for writing a book"
Don't apologize, both the account of your experiences and the impressions they've left you with are well said and invite responses. You're not being dismissive of your experiences, and you sure have had a go at it!
Several things offered above suggest better times ahead in our view.
We'll try to add our spin a little.
(Oh yeah, 'looks like a bit of a book coming...
)
First, MFM or comparable is
certainly what you deserve, with total attention on their parts (sic) to you. That suggests a whole thing about context. Sharing sexual life - does not have to step to "the ants go marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah..." Swinging is casual, friendly, engaging, comforting, and, above all, thoroughly enjoyable. Clearly, you and your husband have found the milieu enticing, since you've tried again. So how to get from enticement to excitement to comfort to more of all three? Friendly circumstances, anticipation, relaxation, and maybe more people in a less confined space and a more open interval - all come to mind. Swinging is, after all arises
together. Not that it can't be fun to hide out with one partner out of sight, or in sight
for a round or two, but you've got it a bit regimented, do you think? Maybe relax, open up for opportunities, and be completely confident (justifiably) that it'll come in its own time, with all present enjoying - enjoying you.
A more specific thought also leads off from something that others said. Maybe you guys could get together with others around a workout first, or swimming, or Scrabble, or canoeing, waxing a huge wood floor (does wonders for hands and shoulders, and invites massage...), or even politics, religion, or geekiness (well, for some anyway)? Just as above, let the context open up, and get guys who are drink free, or nearly so, relaxed, and, above all, paying attention!
You can have a heck of a nice time with toys, or spouse, at home - and we hope that you often do. But swinging is necessarily something of a social thing - lustful, comforting, and even funny. Relax (but keep the guys at attention
) A good outcome is just about certain.
