[BodyScape02]

Joplin,

Relax and breath... yes, it is frustrating and it says allot about you that you assume it is you rather than it being someone else or the manly power struggle thing. You are not showing the all powerful emasculating his ego thing... so it cannot be blamed on that. We Women do that, blame ourselves... it is not you...but that is not the point. It has happed to all of us women. The question is how to deal with it when it "*comes up"

You are here for fun too and if it continues to be all fun for one and none for you... well that isn't exactly the recipe for a good swing time, and simply not fair to you as a partner in this enterprise. Decide how many times you are willing to “help” out a limp noodle before you end up feeling used and abused… I have a very low tolerance myself… you get 2 chances … I used to give three but if they can’t get it up the second time… trust me … it is always an issue for them… one couple even admitted, “oh, he never gets it up”,how nice for me…(dead pan )

Communication is key, as is stated over and over on SB. You don’t know you have to have a way to handle something until you find something you just can't handle...then talk it over and come up with a plan together.

Talk to your hubby because, this seems to be causing you some self-esteem issues( from what I read in your post). Your hubby needs to be aware of that... it isn't his fault that he is the only man able to *stand and deliver in the foursome...but that doesn't mean you should be the one left there holding the deflated balloon every time. Try and discuss it as a "put yourself in my shoes type of thing," What if the next three times you get “Mr. Hard-as-a- rock-all-night” and his wife is well (pick something he would find distasteful)? Then he is left out in the cold, while you are playing “ride- em-tonto” all night long...hmmm… I think he might get sick of that pretty fast, too.

Two suggestions:

1. You know you adore being with your own man (I know I do) we have solved this one of two ways... we start with each other and round two is the other couple ( or visa -versa) ... we discuss it up front if someone can't *stand and deliver for whatever reason.. play stops and you get your own man back... and or you discuss up front how it will break down...threesome wise or we stop wise.

Try it ...make your husband your wing man... discuss it and see if the two of you think it will work for you. Have a nice “code word” so you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings.

2. On my end... I watch to see how much the other man is drinking... if it is late in the night and he seems three sheets... I am all for the back him against the wall and kiss and check out the package move... otherwise know in my youth as "heavy petting"... if you can't get a firm ...*HELLO NURSE..out of him there... you will not get it once you are in the room.

There seems to be such a set of nerves when those doors shut that can *deflate the best ego... better to go in with *both barrels loaded if you know what I mean

It does get better as you develop a network of friends to play with ... it took us about 2-3 year but it was *hard work, but fun.(grin)


Ms. Bodyscape

*double entendres included at no extra charge...lol