[Tempest419]

Okay folks... this is seriously's wife. Husband's been sharing everything with me and I was more than bristled at the way things have been painted.

First, while the implication is that I'm fucking all the time while he watches on the sidelines, this is not true. We both went to the club two nights. We both had opportunities to get to know people. The fact is, he is more shy than me and as Empyrean pointed out, it's probably easier for outgoing, bi-females to get action. That is unfortunate for him but I do not see why I have to be strung out to dry because I'm outgoing. I cannot grab a woman and force her to fuck him, and neither can he. All you can do is put yourself out there and go with the flow. If the universe has been more returning to me, does that make me selfish, or more easy going and friendly?

Second--I haven't done anything without talking to my husband first. Communication lines are open. He has given me the okay. I'm not taking advantage of anyone. We have talked, and talked and talked some more.

Third-- as for my best friend; as circumstances turn out, it was fairly "easy" to talk to her about opening up that part of our relationship, (and might I add that what we did years ago was before Seriously and I married) AFTER I spoke with hubby at length. Again, I'm sorry he doesn't have the same type of history with his best friend, but I don't see how that equates to what he is suggesting (the part he mentioned about me putting the brakes on).

So here is the real rub; Seriously hasn't gotten laid by any "strange" yet. His argument is that, because I have a best friend who will also (happily for me) let me make love to her, that he needs a "girlfriend" as well, and that is where I put the "brakes" on. The fact is, Seriously has been carrying on with an older woman who is a friend of a friend for a month; I mean, she emails him personally, calls him personally, and has been mysteriously showing up at a mutual friend's house every Wednesday when he is there, and I am not. And she has been rather flirty. To top it off, he suggested that he should spend time with her by himself and go bike riding together yesterday--not inviting me, or anyone else for that matter-- developing this "friendship" (with hopefully sex soon) And while many of you guys may think this is "equality", (and as Seriously points out, if I get to fuck another "person" then he should too) I beg to differ and here is the way I see it:

ALL THINGS BEING EQUAL--if his best male friend wants to give him a little action on the side, he is more than welcome. Go knock yourself out, honey, it will not hurt my feelings. Men might have an ass, but they don't have a pussy. I would not feel threatened by this... of course, this isn't what he wants and he didn't bother to tell anyone this.

I am, however, threatened by another adult female "friend" who is single and childless most of the time, who wants to just "hang out" with my husband, who doesn't even know we're "swinging." As far as I can see, she could be a black widow. What happens when she catches the flu, and poor little [girlfriend] doesn't have anyone, and hey, he should go over there.... and then the lines get blurred. Am I crazy, or does anyone else see where this is going? With what Seriously is suggesting is another adult, female love relationship (friend-love, whatever) that could easily deepen. And yes, he could potentially see this other woman as "wife" material and if she can suck a cock better than me...

Bottom line, I think it is a dangerous step, and if the shoe were on the other foot, this would not have even been posted here. I have not asked to contact the one-night stand guy and go to a game. I don't email with him, or call him on the phone, or hook him up with the 419 when he needs it. We are not "friends with benefits" (as husband wants with another woman) Nada, zip, nothing. In fact, I wouldn't even DREAM or DARE to have suggested such a thing to Seriously, because it is bringing direct competition to my primary relationship, and--gee-- I imagine it would hurt his feelings! And guess what--when I suggested this, he openly admitted that he wouldn't like it. Okaaaaaay.... so what he's saying is, he would be threatened if I wanted to form a fast, sexual friendship with this guy... but HE wants to do it?

As for my best friend--she has been around for 8 years, lived with us for six months (no sex) and knows us probably better than most anyone. She loves Seriously as a friend, loves our son, and would never want to break up our home. Everything we've done, she's been like, "Are you sure he's okay? Are you sure?" and repeated several times that she didn't want to upset him. She cares about BOTH of us. In fact, she has said that she is not opposed to involving him in the future, but that she wanted to make sure that *I* am okay with it first, and wants to develop things with me first. She wants to make sure we don't rush in and complicate things before we're ready.

The fact is, she is not "husband" material. She's been around eight years, slept with her before, and I don't see myself running out on my marriage for this person. Not gonna happen... I love my husband, and I love having sex with women.

Seriously is welcome for us to go back to the Club and try to make a "friend" there (where the boundaries are clear and open) that he would like to hook up with. I *do* want him to have fun. I do want him to experience these things, but with people we both agree on, under circumstances where things are not threatening to either of us.

Last but not least, I have been clear that if he is ultimately not okay with me sleeping with friend (damn, in his own house, even) then that is a rule I will abide.... but he might want to be careful what "rules" he institutes out of impatience and lack of foresight; rules he might not want to follow in the future when *his* options open up. If he were, for instance, to institute the rule of only sex with both of us with other couples... we will probably be waiting a while. I am simply not AS interested in sleeping with other men as I am women, and from what I saw, the pickins' were slim. I'm not fucking some guy I don't' like or am not attracted to just to even the score card for him. Furthermore, I'm not interested in stranger-sex as a rule. Better sex happens for me when I am in a trusting environment, and that doesn't happen in a night.

I could go on and on....

Sincerely,
Tempest