Our preference is not "soft swing", but then again we will gladly soft swing with a couple that we enjoy.
All we ask is that we know - so that we can make that decision.
We recently had a situation where we felt very strung along - and when things were over, we were left wondering "what the hell just happened?" It is a long story, that I won't go into, but basically there was every reason to expect play - and never a word that there wouldn't be any... Followed by no explanantion as to why there wasn't...
Everyone has the right to decide when and if they want to play, but being open is a fair expectation.
That experience has sort of changed our approach - and it has been an epiphany for us! If we are at the club and find ourselves interested in a couple - instead of bantering about for hours waiting for the conversation to "slip" into sex, we just put it out there.
"We would love to play with you guys." We'll tell a couple. "We'll give you guys some time to discuss. If you're interested, we're out on the dance floor." It has worked well and allowed us to connect with some great couples - one of those couples were soft swing, and it was a blast.
Same goes for anything else - if we are planning something with the hopes of play, we put that on the table, because we all know what happens when you "assume"
Eliminating the guessing games is just a hell of a lot easier and leaves you with a lot less questions on the drive home...
Spoomonkey