Oh man. That sucks.
Sorry if any of us sounded harsh. Quite often people come here looking for a quick fix to their lagging sex lives because they're too cowardly or lazy to fix the one they should be working on - the one with their own partner. What you're talking about is a different thing altogether. Where the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I don't want to say that swinging will work for you...it very well might not. But it sounds like you're reached 'that bridge' and found that it's out. So now you're looking for alternative ways to express yourselves to one another. In our own personal experience, swinging has worked very well as a means for us to express ourselves to one another.