Sorry, but I think we need to get back on track with the original intent of this thread. It's all well and good to discuss other diseases and viruses, but that has as much to do with all this as does the chances of dying in an automobile accident! Basically nothing. It's like saying that my chances of dying in a car accident are much greater than dying from unprotected sex, so I had better stop driving! Well, that is silly, but to reduce those chances, we wear seat belts and take other precautions when we drive. The same goes for sex, take the precautions you are personally comfortable with.
We all have our preferred practises, and our own thoughts on what
"Safer-Sex" means to us. We have been "Swingers" for well over 20 years, and in that time, have had hundreds of partners. We aren't couple exclusive, and also play with both single men and women. In 1997, we made the conscious decision to only do any penetration with condoms, and we have stuck with that since that day. We do enjoy unprotected oral sex, and are willing to take our chances for that enjoyment. I would say that the only difference these days is Carol goes for the "Facial" instead of the swallowing (with others). That is her choice and meets her comfort level, and we really don't need to defend that choice as you aren't required to defend yours.
As someone mentioned earlier in this topic, he doesn't like to wear condoms, so doesn't engage in much penetration with others. I'm really the same way. Since penetration is such a small and unimportant part of being with others, there is many times that the only person I "penetrate" is my own wife.
These days we also ensure condom use for another reason. When Carol hit 40, she decided to stop using birth control pills, and I went and had a vasectomy. So our worry these days is just not disease related, it's also pregnancy related
Danny & Carol