Quote:
|
Originally Posted by EternallySingle One couple got turned down by a single man three different times? That single man has some kind of personality issue. One couple got turned down by three different single men? That couple is not doing something to make the single men believe they are serious, or they pushed the sex angle so much that the men didn't believe they were real. |
I got cut off before I could finish my post. Everyone knows I never write so little in this forum.
Nerves are a major factor in single guys not showing up for meetings, but look at it this way. I write CoupleInGR (I made that up) in November of 2003. Over the next three months they send me four emails, then don't reply to my fifth even though I know its been read. Its not October of 2005. I've had 3 girlfriends, been with two couples that were great but never called back except to see how I've been, and three that spent most of the time arguing over how far she could go with me. Those were the last three within the last three months. Then CoupleInGR writes and says they want to meet because wife wants to try a DP. I go back, read the four letters I have, and say sure.
Then I start thinking (the one thing that will always stop a guy from having sex with anyone). I see I got the last letter two years ago. I see that they didn't answer my last email when I sent them the nude pictures and asked them for pictures of them. I see that they ignored my attempts to reestablish contact with them. Then I say "Do I really want to get together with someone I never met and last talked to two years ago? Hey, they didn't even answer my last letter and want me to meet them this weekend? You know, Julie's back in town and she did say she'd like to get together this weekend." Guess what happens. Why? The guy had no reason to take time out of his schedule to meet you. No single has any reason to meet a couple unless the single specifically has some fantasy that can't be carried out by one person.
Yes, if a single man says he's going to show up, he should show up. As a single man, I've been stood up by 9 out of every 10 women that set up a meetings with me online, and 3 out of every 5 that I make a date with in real life. But thats the life of a single man. We get stood up and shot down waaaay more than we actually go out with someone. We expect it, shrug it off, and try to make better judgements as to who to ask out the next time. Most importantly, we try to figure out what WE did wrong, if anything, and try to find ways not to do that again and make the next woman we try to meet want to at least give us a chance to fall on our faces before she decides not to go out with us again.
This is not dating, but many of the rules are the same. If you keep getting stood up by people who originally said yes, you have to reevaluate what kinds of people you are trying to hook up with, and what you are saying/doing when you talk to them.