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Originally Posted by JustAskJulie Honestly, unless you are trying to foster some sort of poly relationship, I just can't see the advantages of her talking to him alone and feeling him out (both physically and mentally) without you there. In order for it to be a working threesome, he needs to be comfortable with you, and with you not being there it doesn't foster that. I would suggest that as much as it may be good to let her spend time alone with him, that you and he need to have some alone time as well - not sexually - but just one on one to talk and open up regarding what you want and expect from the situation. Part of his feeling uncomfortable may well come from not knowing you and being unsure of what YOU are comfortable with in regards to him being there. |
Dito
I have to agree with Julie. Your talking about making him feel like an equal partner sounds more like a poly relationship to me. Don't get me wrong we love singles and strive to foster a friendship that we can all get together on a regular basis for play and just regular activities. Someone we can call a friend but an "equal partner"
I don't want alone time with our playmates (couples or singles) we got in the lifestyle to experience it together.
I also agree that his discomfort probably comes more from not being sure what he can and can't do or what role he is to play in the threesome. I would think a man to man or even the three of you talking would be the way to go. Let him know that you enjoy his company and that you want to continue the relationship in the hope that all three of you will enjoy yourselves and fulfill fantasies.
That said the most important thing isn't what you've heard, read or even get from us on the board. It's what you and your wife feel comfortable with for your situation. All we can give is our opinions and how "we" do it in our relationships.
Good luck
Mrs Spoomonkey