[Ssugarlips]

I agree with the various posters who say that alone time with a lover is an individual decision by the couple.

That being said, I love time alone with my lovers, male and female. My husband enjoys the same thing with his female lovers. I self-identify more with polyamory than swinging; my husband leans more toward a swinging mentality. We jokingly say we have a foot in each camp. Sometimes we are alone in the house; sometimes the other spouse is in the same house - different room. Each of us is always aware when the other is meeting a lover for one-on-one activity. Of course, we also play together in group situations.