The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Giving wife & her lover time alone together

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-29-2005, 03:12 PM

I'm interested in knowing where you've read that this is a GOOD idea? I'm not saying it isn't, but I would be hardpressed to follow in the heels of someone saying that it definately is. This really is something that each couple has to decide on their own and no one should allow an outside force/author to determine it for them.

As Jenn andJames said, just because you read it doesn't make it true. There's lots of "rumors" out here on the internet. You have to sort through things and determine for yourself what is and is not right for you.

I'm glad you guys have talked about it, please continue to do so. Honestly, unless you are trying to foster some sort of poly relationship, I just can't see the advantages of her talking to him alone and feeling him out (both physically and mentally) without you there. In order for it to be a working threesome, he needs to be comfortable with you, and with you not being there it doesn't foster that. I would suggest that as much as it may be good to let her spend time alone with him, that you and he need to have some alone time as well - not sexually - but just one on one to talk and open up regarding what you want and expect fromt he situation. Part of his feeling uncomfortable may well come from not knowing you and being unsure of what YOU are comfortable with in regards to him being there.

09-29-2005, 03:12 PM	#6 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,734 Location: Alabama Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Re: Giving wife & her lover time alone together I'm interested in knowing where you've read that this is a GOOD idea? I'm not saying it isn't, but I would be hardpressed to follow in the heels of someone saying that it definately is. This really is something that each couple has to decide on their own and no one should allow an outside force/author to determine it for them. As Jenn andJames said, just because you read it doesn't make it true. There's lots of "rumors" out here on the internet. You have to sort through things and determine for yourself what is and is not right for you. I'm glad you guys have talked about it, please continue to do so. Honestly, unless you are trying to foster some sort of poly relationship, I just can't see the advantages of her talking to him alone and feeling him out (both physically and mentally) without you there. In order for it to be a working threesome, he needs to be comfortable with you, and with you not being there it doesn't foster that. I would suggest that as much as it may be good to let her spend time alone with him, that you and he need to have some alone time as well - not sexually - but just one on one to talk and open up regarding what you want and expect fromt he situation. Part of his feeling uncomfortable may well come from not knowing you and being unsure of what YOU are comfortable with in regards to him being there.