Quote:
|
Originally Posted by MrClassic She also believe you all don't exist. There's no way there's a large group of people out there who have successfully swapped partners and survived to talk about it. And if you are saying positive things it must have happened once and very bad things are coming your way soon. Or its a conspiracy theory and there's some pervert in NJ typing all your responses. There's just no way swapping and 3-somes can work. |
Oh, we exist alright!
If she really doesn't believe it, let her introduce herself to us perverts. Let her see for herself. You won't meet a nicer bunch of people. Well
I think we're pretty nice, anyway.
But she's right, that if you wanted to find those people out there who are into it for the wrong reasons or those for whom swinging just wasn't a good fit, you'll find them! They are out there. Probably in much greater number than those who
have found success. There are so many people here that I can think of right off the top of my head who HAVE found success, though, that it just can't be denied that it can and does work. We've been at it for about 3 years now, 5 altogether (when we first became interested). Other couples have been at it longer than that! Divorces still happen, sure, but not because of the swinging. Usually it's because someone deliberately broke the rules (ie: went behind his/her spouse's back and cheated with someone else) or some other non-swinging-related conflict. No different than in the 'vanilla' world.
Perhaps your wife has some preconceived ideas about who and what swingers actually are. If that's the case, she would do well to toss out what she thinks she knows about it, and investigate it for herself. If it does not stand on its own merit, then there's her answer. We'd love to get to know her a bit better, too. Please let her know that we would all enjoy hearing her side of things. She won't be flamed, judged or pressured by any of us.
Glad to hear that you've both been making some progress. I know things are moving as painfully as a rusty hinge right now, but the more of yourselves that you pour into your marriage, the more you will get back. It's a beautiful thing. Once you've both gotten used to having such tender parts of yourselves exposed to one another, you'll start to wonder how you ever lived without the pure simplicity of the arrangement. For a while, though, it will feel a bit unnatural. One couldn't expect anything different; it's sort of like living in a cave all your life, seeing things in black and white, and then trying to adjust your vision to seeing things in colour, in the bright light of the noon sun. It's a lot to take in. But once you've adjusted, you take one backward glance at the cave you used to call home, and wonder why you spent so many years down there in the dark.
Wishing you both much happiness.