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MrClassic · 09-06-2005, 06:17 AM

I'm new to the forum and looking for a little advice. I've read a lot of the threads and FAQs and have determined in your world I am about as normal as the next guy. I'm over 40, married 24 years to my high school sweetheart. For many years I thought I was her first as that is what she told me (more later). At about year 7 of our marriage I expressed having fantasies about three-somes both MFM and FFM (although I was perverted at early times to desires those things). I went so far as fantasizing about ordering a pizza and having her give the guy a tip, but not money. I went as far as asking her to try it for real and she flipped enough that she went to a therapist for help. She thought I was a real mental case and our marriage was doomed. I of course was mad because she got so mad. But we got over it and its only brought up by her when she needs to remind me how I mentally abused her. After maturing and reading more about swinging and sharing I realized I moved too fast and didn't get her consent before really wanting to try it. (We never actually tried it, I just asked her to do it for real).

She was raised to be a "good girl" by her mom. (Her little sister was not and has a competely different lifestyle and has an interracial marriage. I thinks its odd how two sisters could grow up so different). I have to admit I have corrupted her to at least be a little daring. More so when we were just married we did some daring things. Sex on the beach, BJ in an elevator etc. Over the last dozen years the fantasies have increased in the bedroom. At least talking about them. We'll watch porn in the bedroom, but its always for me, not for her, but man does she get wet! For a few years she let me talk about almost anything and I was able to communicate my fantasis about 3-somes and more. At first she said she had no fantasies but then I pushed her a little and she admitted she thought about an accasional fling with a guy. She even admitted that "Bob", a guy I worked with was hot. We talked during sex about getting it on with Bob for several years. She really hates the girl-on-girl in the movies so I don't go there very often.

Over the last year or so I've had trouble maintaining an erection without the extra talk. I try to think of sweet things with her, but go limp. All I need to do is think about her and I going wild with another person and I'm back in action. She knows it and will talk the talk without me asking to get me to orgasim. Despite having sex 5-7 times per month with her, I still masterbate more than I think I should and of course thinking about all kinds of kinky sex with and without her.

We've owned our own business for the last 5 years and the stress is tough. We started seeing a therapist last month more for a relationship tune-up than anything. I wanted my wife to stop working with me so much since we have our share of communication problems and we now have an assistant to do many of her things in the office who is well qulified but bored.

Last week in the therapy session we started talking about sex. I guess that's a must-do on their check list. I guess it was good becuase she got to vent a little that I was not normal. I admited to the good Doctor that I did indeed have thoughts about seeing my wife with another man. We ran out of time and we'll start there again this week.

One thing we did discuss was her virginity. She was telling the doctor she was never with another man and could never "cheat" on me, even if I asked her to do it in front of me. I took a chance on a suspician I've had only for a few months. I found out that another man took my wife's cherry (broke her hymen) during last week's session. I knew him and he was a guy she dated before me and I knew she was giving him BJs and all. It was something we talked about during sex. She would descibe to me the times she blew him and how she swollowed etc. It was fun and she didn't seem to mind either. Well she said he was not her first because as soon as he broke her hymen she made him stop and they never finished. So in her mind she didn't have sex since his penis only knocked on the door and didn't go all the way in. I told her she was wrong and she said I have ruined her most cherried thing in saving her virginity for me.

One other thing she did while we were dating that ties into this...She went to the beach with her friend and got a little drunk and gave a total stranger a BJ on the beach. We talk about that during sex too.

So I look at all these things and say that we are happily married, despite the bumps in the road. However I still have the desire to have more than monogomous sex and it consumes too much of my time (for example, writing this book at 5am because I can't sleep).

I know that more is going to come in the therapy sessions. I told her yesterday that despite the fact that I think another man did take her cherry, I still think of me as her only one. Maybe to the point of obsession. I told her that if she ever cheated on me, even a little, the spell would be broken. But in the same conversation I told her I still desire to have a 3-some and more. She said it will never happen. She things its a moral sin to have sex with someone else when married, even if I was there watching. She can't wait for the good doctor to fix me.

Its really sad to think that if we ever got divorviced for what-ever reason she would more than likely sleep around, one at a time, and eventually find another Mr. Right. So she's willing to say no to me during our marriage, but it would be OK to have sex with another man if we were not married. I think that's messed up thinking, but that's why I'm here typing. Our marriage is good but not great. I think the differences in our sexual morals is weighing heavily on me and I don't know if it would lead to divorce or not. If it did it would be the saddest thing to happen. Should I just bury the desires and try to live a "normal" life?

I realize asking this board for advice is like asking pamala anderson if sex is fun, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Sorry for the long book this morning. Thanks for your help!

09-06-2005, 06:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
MrClassic Registered Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 5 Location: PA	My Wife Says Never! I'm new to the forum and looking for a little advice. I've read a lot of the threads and FAQs and have determined in your world I am about as normal as the next guy. I'm over 40, married 24 years to my high school sweetheart. For many years I thought I was her first as that is what she told me (more later). At about year 7 of our marriage I expressed having fantasies about three-somes both MFM and FFM (although I was perverted at early times to desires those things). I went so far as fantasizing about ordering a pizza and having her give the guy a tip, but not money. I went as far as asking her to try it for real and she flipped enough that she went to a therapist for help. She thought I was a real mental case and our marriage was doomed. I of course was mad because she got so mad. But we got over it and its only brought up by her when she needs to remind me how I mentally abused her. After maturing and reading more about swinging and sharing I realized I moved too fast and didn't get her consent before really wanting to try it. (We never actually tried it, I just asked her to do it for real). She was raised to be a "good girl" by her mom. (Her little sister was not and has a competely different lifestyle and has an interracial marriage. I thinks its odd how two sisters could grow up so different). I have to admit I have corrupted her to at least be a little daring. More so when we were just married we did some daring things. Sex on the beach, BJ in an elevator etc. Over the last dozen years the fantasies have increased in the bedroom. At least talking about them. We'll watch porn in the bedroom, but its always for me, not for her, but man does she get wet! For a few years she let me talk about almost anything and I was able to communicate my fantasis about 3-somes and more. At first she said she had no fantasies but then I pushed her a little and she admitted she thought about an accasional fling with a guy. She even admitted that "Bob", a guy I worked with was hot. We talked during sex about getting it on with Bob for several years. She really hates the girl-on-girl in the movies so I don't go there very often. Over the last year or so I've had trouble maintaining an erection without the extra talk. I try to think of sweet things with her, but go limp. All I need to do is think about her and I going wild with another person and I'm back in action. She knows it and will talk the talk without me asking to get me to orgasim. Despite having sex 5-7 times per month with her, I still masterbate more than I think I should and of course thinking about all kinds of kinky sex with and without her. We've owned our own business for the last 5 years and the stress is tough. We started seeing a therapist last month more for a relationship tune-up than anything. I wanted my wife to stop working with me so much since we have our share of communication problems and we now have an assistant to do many of her things in the office who is well qulified but bored. Last week in the therapy session we started talking about sex. I guess that's a must-do on their check list. I guess it was good becuase she got to vent a little that I was not normal. I admited to the good Doctor that I did indeed have thoughts about seeing my wife with another man. We ran out of time and we'll start there again this week. One thing we did discuss was her virginity. She was telling the doctor she was never with another man and could never "cheat" on me, even if I asked her to do it in front of me. I took a chance on a suspician I've had only for a few months. I found out that another man took my wife's cherry (broke her hymen) during last week's session. I knew him and he was a guy she dated before me and I knew she was giving him BJs and all. It was something we talked about during sex. She would descibe to me the times she blew him and how she swollowed etc. It was fun and she didn't seem to mind either. Well she said he was not her first because as soon as he broke her hymen she made him stop and they never finished. So in her mind she didn't have sex since his penis only knocked on the door and didn't go all the way in. I told her she was wrong and she said I have ruined her most cherried thing in saving her virginity for me. One other thing she did while we were dating that ties into this...She went to the beach with her friend and got a little drunk and gave a total stranger a BJ on the beach. We talk about that during sex too. So I look at all these things and say that we are happily married, despite the bumps in the road. However I still have the desire to have more than monogomous sex and it consumes too much of my time (for example, writing this book at 5am because I can't sleep). I know that more is going to come in the therapy sessions. I told her yesterday that despite the fact that I think another man did take her cherry, I still think of me as her only one. Maybe to the point of obsession. I told her that if she ever cheated on me, even a little, the spell would be broken. But in the same conversation I told her I still desire to have a 3-some and more. She said it will never happen. She things its a moral sin to have sex with someone else when married, even if I was there watching. She can't wait for the good doctor to fix me. Its really sad to think that if we ever got divorviced for what-ever reason she would more than likely sleep around, one at a time, and eventually find another Mr. Right. So she's willing to say no to me during our marriage, but it would be OK to have sex with another man if we were not married. I think that's messed up thinking, but that's why I'm here typing. Our marriage is good but not great. I think the differences in our sexual morals is weighing heavily on me and I don't know if it would lead to divorce or not. If it did it would be the saddest thing to happen. Should I just bury the desires and try to live a "normal" life? I realize asking this board for advice is like asking pamala anderson if sex is fun, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. Sorry for the long book this morning. Thanks for your help!