My experience only.....We weren't "smart" enough to set up rules that were all that in depth. The 1st swing experience we had was spur of the moment, so to speak. When she kissed him it stung pretty good for about 10 seconds. Their kissing really got things heated up and the night was amazing.
To this day, I enjoy seeing her/him kissing, that lets me know she's ready, hot and set for a good time. Kissing between them has NEVER changed my "partership" feelings toward her.
NOW, as for the cuddling and hand holding.....I hadn't thought of those issues, but hey, that's why we're here on the Swingers Board, right?
Mr. D