The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Told him he had to choose between me and swinging

jstlkng · 08-22-2005, 09:27 AM

Let me see if I listened right:

You truly admire the man you are with.

You are good together and cannot think of life without him.

You have never been with more than one man.

You want to spend your life loving and taking care of him.

He has been a swinger...you have not.

My wife and I feel the same about each other. Most of the people who post at this site have spouses that say the same thing about each other. However my wife and I don't swing. We visit this site to learn more and use it as another way of being open in our communications with each other. I think she would like to be involved in swinging and she knows I would like to be, but as yet we have not made the jump...so why not. Well I believe its the same reason you and your S/O shouldn't make the jump just yet.

My wife says she is not willing to share her body sexually with anyone but me. I say I want to share her body with others as a love gift to her. We, like you and your S/O, are miles apart in what we are willing to give each other. Only when she makes up her mind that its ok to enjoy sex with other people without jealousy or possessiveness will we ever be able to swing.

Does that cause our loving relationship of more than 40 years to suffer. Certainly it does. We both believe that we should not keep the other from being happy and fulfilled.

Is it something that we need to "fix" in order to keep our marriage together. NO! Our marriage is great just the way it is. Remember we don't live in a perfect world and there will always be room for improvement. There will always be room for another way to show our love for each other. Swinging just may be one of the many ways we will do that.

My wife has only had sex with me...no one else. I have only had sex with her. But she does admit that there are things missing in her life that she would have enjoyed, especially sex with a couple of really buff guys she dated before we were married. And I feel that same way about the opportunities I passed up. One day wee may decide to enjoy the fun and pleasure of sex with others as we share each other in another deminsion called swinging.

But until then, just like you, we should never go beyond our fantasies and couriosity. If you learn anything from the fine people who answer you from this site it should be this...that man you love so much cannot be replaced...especially if he loves you the same way.

From what you say in your post, you want to learn enough to make a decision to go ahead and enjoy swinging with him. So, let me say to him...Sire, you have a rare treasure in your girlfriend. She is willing to go the extra mile...you should be also. If she says no to swinging, be satisfied and give your all to this wonderful gal. You will never regret it.

All this from a man who is where you are now. Good luck to both of you.

08-22-2005, 09:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
jstlkng Active Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 31 Location: Midland Status: Couple	Re: need some friendly advice Let me see if I listened right: You truly admire the man you are with. You are good together and cannot think of life without him. You have never been with more than one man. You want to spend your life loving and taking care of him. He has been a swinger...you have not. My wife and I feel the same about each other. Most of the people who post at this site have spouses that say the same thing about each other. However my wife and I don't swing. We visit this site to learn more and use it as another way of being open in our communications with each other. I think she would like to be involved in swinging and she knows I would like to be, but as yet we have not made the jump...so why not. Well I believe its the same reason you and your S/O shouldn't make the jump just yet. My wife says she is not willing to share her body sexually with anyone but me. I say I want to share her body with others as a love gift to her. We, like you and your S/O, are miles apart in what we are willing to give each other. Only when she makes up her mind that its ok to enjoy sex with other people without jealousy or possessiveness will we ever be able to swing. Does that cause our loving relationship of more than 40 years to suffer. Certainly it does. We both believe that we should not keep the other from being happy and fulfilled. Is it something that we need to "fix" in order to keep our marriage together. NO! Our marriage is great just the way it is. Remember we don't live in a perfect world and there will always be room for improvement. There will always be room for another way to show our love for each other. Swinging just may be one of the many ways we will do that. My wife has only had sex with me...no one else. I have only had sex with her. But she does admit that there are things missing in her life that she would have enjoyed, especially sex with a couple of really buff guys she dated before we were married. And I feel that same way about the opportunities I passed up. One day wee may decide to enjoy the fun and pleasure of sex with others as we share each other in another deminsion called swinging. But until then, just like you, we should never go beyond our fantasies and couriosity. If you learn anything from the fine people who answer you from this site it should be this...that man you love so much cannot be replaced...especially if he loves you the same way. From what you say in your post, you want to learn enough to make a decision to go ahead and enjoy swinging with him. So, let me say to him...Sire, you have a rare treasure in your girlfriend. She is willing to go the extra mile...you should be also. If she says no to swinging, be satisfied and give your all to this wonderful gal. You will never regret it. All this from a man who is where you are now. Good luck to both of you.