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Originally Posted by vickster just to set the record stright , we are not married , we are in a serious relationship at this point... |
Oops, my mistake!
Marital status doesn't make a great deal of difference, though; just the level of devotion a couple shows one another.
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Originally Posted by vickster but i also need to make sure that it is right. He has never said this is a must..just that since we fell in love ..he said this is what i do.... that part got me... how to handle it all... |
It can be difficult sometimes to remember to be compassionate and empathetic towards those who have not yet separated love and sex. You'll hear that term a lot here: "separating love and sex". Before you do it, taking deep love out of sex and the sex out of love can seem pretty scary. But once it's done, and you see the advantages of it, it can be hard for some to remember what it was like before. It's true, it seems natural to us.
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Originally Posted by vickster the sexual part of it all i think it could be incredable to say the least ...thats why i am in the position i am in ... |
The sex is lots of fun, for sure. Especially when you get home with just each other!! facelick
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Originally Posted by vickster i looked to him for this but to him i think is just so normal and a part of life for so long he can not explain it ya know...in his marriage she cheated on him...I asked how can that be cheating and he said because they were not together...that swinging must stay as a couple that is about the only real info he gave me... |
Sounds like his attitude toward swinging mirrors ours, too. There's a big difference between cheating and swinging. Swinging is a positive thing, and there are no victims. There is no deception, no sneaking, no game-playing. It's all about sharing and honesty. Sounds like his wife had a different agenda. It wasn't the fact that she had sex with someone else; it was the fact that she did it behind his back. Had she been more forthcoming, it might've been an experience that was positive for everyone, and he could've shared in the fun. But she chose her own selfish desires over her husband, and that all adds up to her throwing away the trust that he put in her to not hurt him. Most swingers have very strong feelings about the practice of cheating. It (swinging) is most definitely a couple's activity.
Good luck in your search!