The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Wife can't handle seeing/hearing husband being pleasured

Amy · 09-02-2000, 05:26 PM

[quote]Originally posted by JustAskJulie:
[b] I think that is a problem people run into in general.. and one reason a lot of couples can't handle the concept of swinging. It's hard for them to seperate LOVE from SEX. You can have one without the other, and they are two very different things. You can have sex without an emotional attachment.

In our case we are emotionally attached to the couple we share with. They have been our best friends for over a decade. That is precisely why we chose to take this step in the first place. I do not "love" the other guy in the classical "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" sense, but he is very special to me and very important in my life. If I am going to have intercourse with another man I want it to be him. And I know that my husband feels that way about the other wife. I think, in order to have a successful sexual relationship with another couple you would need to be either comparitive strangers or best friends. We chose our best friends. Communication has been very important to us. We talk about what we are doing in between episodes. I particularly talk to Kristen and my husband makes it a point to communicate with Kristen's husband. This is an effort to keep anything from taking us by surprise in the way of jealousy. In addition to that we see this couple several times each week and we have only traded partners 3 times (once for just exploring physically to see if we wanted to go further, and twice for intercourse), all over the past 10 weeks. Most often, when we are together there is teasing but no actual sexual activity. It's more important to us that they remain our friends that our sex partners.

09-02-2000, 05:26 PM	#13 (permalink)
Amy Active Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 10	[quote]Originally posted by JustAskJulie: [b] I think that is a problem people run into in general.. and one reason a lot of couples can't handle the concept of swinging. It's hard for them to seperate LOVE from SEX. You can have one without the other, and they are two very different things. You can have sex without an emotional attachment. In our case we are emotionally attached to the couple we share with. They have been our best friends for over a decade. That is precisely why we chose to take this step in the first place. I do not "love" the other guy in the classical "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" sense, but he is very special to me and very important in my life. If I am going to have intercourse with another man I want it to be him. And I know that my husband feels that way about the other wife. I think, in order to have a successful sexual relationship with another couple you would need to be either comparitive strangers or best friends. We chose our best friends. Communication has been very important to us. We talk about what we are doing in between episodes. I particularly talk to Kristen and my husband makes it a point to communicate with Kristen's husband. This is an effort to keep anything from taking us by surprise in the way of jealousy. In addition to that we see this couple several times each week and we have only traded partners 3 times (once for just exploring physically to see if we wanted to go further, and twice for intercourse), all over the past 10 weeks. Most often, when we are together there is teasing but no actual sexual activity. It's more important to us that they remain our friends that our sex partners.