The situation you encountered is actually pretty common. There are two things you are dealing with here. First the "soft" issue.. which is basically stage fright. I've written an article on that in the "JustAskJulie" area of the site that you can read. What it comes down to is a new situation with new people where you aren't comfortable. This rolls into the issue of being in the same room with your wife and the guy she's playing with.
Basically, as long as you were seperated you could easily focus on what you were doing, turning on the person you playing with and allowing them to turn you on. You weren't worried about what else might be going on next to you, or what your wife might see or think (same goes for her) because you couldn't see each other. Then you brought everyone into the same room, and things got difficult. Hearing you enjoying yourself a) brought your wife back to the real world that someone else was in (besides her and the guy she was playing with) and b)showed her that you were having more fun that she was cuz she was still dealing with Mr. Softie.
A lot of guys have a really hard time being in a room naked with another guy, even tho there is no chance of any interaction, it's just a phobia. There are really a lot of issues that cause this. The main thing to remember is that this isn't uncommon and you shouldn't be embarrased by it.
If swinging is something that you and your wife want to continue with but being in the same room is causing problems, don't be in the same room. This is the reason why many couples engage in "closed swinging" or "closed door swinging" as it is referred to. This way they can each have their fun then when it is over come back together talk about what happened, and have great sex together. Each couple has to find what is right and works best for them.
I hope this helps a little. |