Swinging is just like real life, there are people in it from all walks of life and all shapes and sizes. I know sometimes it seems like there are more Barbies and Kens than anything and I think that maybe that's just because those who aren't Barbie or Ken maybe feel self-concious about putting themselves out there for fear of ridicule.
As far as soft-swinging, there are as many types of swinging as there are swingers. Everyone has to decide what they want to do and what they are comfortable with and stick to it. Don't feel that you have to go further than that because "most swingers do". We aren't in high school here and there shouldn't be any "well everyone else is doing it" attitude either. Do what you are comfortable with.
As for your body as long as you are comfortable with it, others will be to.
Julie
http://www.swingersboard.com