[txduo2000]

We kind of started in the same way.

My husband and his ex-wife kind of dabbled in the interest and even went to an off-premise club a couple of times. But when he realized that she was fine with HER acting on the fantasy, but that it was off-limits to him, he put a halt to it all.

When he and I got together, and he first mentioned it to me, I thought the idea was repulsive. As time went by, however, I did agree to go to a club and we would verbalize the fantasies while we were making love. Over time, I agreed to go to clubs more often, then place ads up, then actually start meeting people. We also went to a house party where we did actually indulge in the group room. And even though we went slow, the jealousy and moral issues got to me and I put a stop to it. I would never ask my husband to allow me to partake in fantasy situations while he stood on the sidelines, but honestly, he was more interested in making me feel good, and being a part of it, than he was interested in "getting some" for himself. Even still, I began to feel used and "whored" out and so I called it off for a couple years.

We are back in it, and I feel much more comfortable and am comfortable with the fact that it was my idea to get back into it, and therefore don't feel "whored" out anymore. I still have issues with the moral aspect of it ... so I just don't participate strongly in religion activities (i.e., church, conferences) at this time. In my mind, I have to separate what I believe to be sin from righteousness.

It may take you some time. She may never come around, but she might. Just continue to communicate and talk about it. If she ever feels nervous about it, back off because the last think you want is for her to feel forced into it, or to feel that you are just trying to get her approval for screwing other women.