Intuition, thank you for all that. That has probably been the most helpful advice I've found. It's really making me think. Gotta figure out what's causing the jealousy thing. Never dealt with it before. My philosophy has always been "if you can get him from me, you can have him cuz he's not worth my time." For some reason this relationship is different. Maybe because I'm getting older and the fear of growing old alone. Not sure. But definitely need tofigure that part out, need to analyze and define the actual emotions, as you stated.
As much as I am still into the idea of doing this with him, right now it's on hold. We have a few other issues we're dealing with. I have learned one thing in a recent argument though. Don't threaten him with screwing someone else. He made me very angry the other night and kept bringing up my ex. I told him if he brought him up or accused me one more time that I would just go f**k my ex. He told me go ahead. I said why? you wanna watch? should i make sure we do it on the balcony? Of course I only said it to make him as angry as I was, but later after we both calmed down he told me that me talking about that and "offering" to let him watch just turned him on. Note to self: don't attempt to make him angry by suggesting sex with someone else and allowing him to watch.
Anyway, once everything else is worked out, I plan to take him to a swingers club here in town, maybe just to watch, maybe try a little soft swing. We'll play it by ear (or other body parts) and see. I want to say thank you to all who have offered adviced or even just read my post and empathized. It's a wonderful feeling to have such a great support system here when ya'll don't even know me from adam. I'll keep ya'll posted on the outcome of our little voyage into new territory. And I'll keep checking back for more posts.
[b]Intuition: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
