The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Our first talk about doing this the "right" way. Can't agree

WiserNow · 08-01-2005, 10:22 PM

I have to agree with everyone else who has replied, with an additional thought or two.

Few situations in life can ever be seen as totally bad or good, and this one is no exception. However, under the circumstances, having other sex partners at this point will definitely be destructive no matter which of you is involved. Sharing sex can be an extremely positive experience, as it should be, but I've known it to ruin marriages just as easily as it enhances them.

You obviously understand that for you to have another male partner would be destructive unless you and the hubby can reach some kind of agreement, but he either doesn't understand that your relationship will suffer because of his extramarital adventures, or he doesn't care. In the end it makes little difference from which side the destructive influences originate, the damage is done.

Your D/s relationship by its definition involves some measure of inequality, which makes it all the more essential that you agree before having other partners. Having known other women in D/s relationships, I can sympathize; however, if what you've said is accurate, he falls short of the Doms I've known. Domination has its advantages, and so does submission....but with authority comes a corresponding degree of responsibility, and upsetting that critical long-term balance in favor of a short-term one-sided gain doesn't make sense. My apologies for any offense taken, but I call 'em like I see 'em, although it's still only my opinion and based on scant knowledge of your personal life.

Wishing you the best, I hope it works out for both of you.

08-01-2005, 10:22 PM	#11 (permalink)
WiserNow Active Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 28 Location: Texas	Re: Grrrrrrr.....O/our first talk about doing this the "right" way. I have to agree with everyone else who has replied, with an additional thought or two. Few situations in life can ever be seen as totally bad or good, and this one is no exception. However, under the circumstances, having other sex partners at this point will definitely be destructive no matter which of you is involved. Sharing sex can be an extremely positive experience, as it should be, but I've known it to ruin marriages just as easily as it enhances them. You obviously understand that for you to have another male partner would be destructive unless you and the hubby can reach some kind of agreement, but he either doesn't understand that your relationship will suffer because of his extramarital adventures, or he doesn't care. In the end it makes little difference from which side the destructive influences originate, the damage is done. Your D/s relationship by its definition involves some measure of inequality, which makes it all the more essential that you agree before having other partners. Having known other women in D/s relationships, I can sympathize; however, if what you've said is accurate, he falls short of the Doms I've known. Domination has its advantages, and so does submission....but with authority comes a corresponding degree of responsibility, and upsetting that critical long-term balance in favor of a short-term one-sided gain doesn't make sense. My apologies for any offense taken, but I call 'em like I see 'em, although it's still only my opinion and based on scant knowledge of your personal life. Wishing you the best, I hope it works out for both of you.