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**Alura** · 08-01-2005, 01:27 PM

There's certainly a lot to agree with so far in this thread. All suggestions are good advice.

Set your rules and keep them. Beyond that, we agree with Like Minds that you must be sure your playmates know and understand your restrictions.

Twoplayful2 pointed out that your rules might cause most couples to shy away for fear of breaking your rules in the heat of passion. As you two know already, finding playmates is not the easiest part of this lifestyle; the more restrictions you place on the playing, the fewer playmates you will find who are willing to become involved.

We would suggest that y'all put swinging on the back burner for now. There are too many limitations to discuss and you don't want to involve another couple until you are quite sure what your needs are. Concentrate on better development of your communication. Your "rules of swinging" is a valid and very handy tool for development of that communication. Use your improving ability to talk to each other for that purpose, not necessarily for play.

Also introduce your wife to this board. You might be surprised at how much knowledge will temper her reluctance to throw away the rule book as we did many years ago and replace it with only one law: No "Making Love" with anybody else. Recreational sex only! Once she joins the board and starts getting her questions answered, you might be surprised to find her assuming some of the responsibility for getting y'all involved.

Alura

08-01-2005, 01:27 PM	#9 (permalink)
Alura T-Town Playmates Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 6,111 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Married to Mrs. Alura	Re: Discussing boundaries, what a shocker! There's certainly a lot to agree with so far in this thread. All suggestions are good advice. Set your rules and keep them. Beyond that, we agree with Like Minds that you must be sure your playmates know and understand your restrictions. Twoplayful2 pointed out that your rules might cause most couples to shy away for fear of breaking your rules in the heat of passion. As you two know already, finding playmates is not the easiest part of this lifestyle; the more restrictions you place on the playing, the fewer playmates you will find who are willing to become involved. We would suggest that y'all put swinging on the back burner for now. There are too many limitations to discuss and you don't want to involve another couple until you are quite sure what your needs are. Concentrate on better development of your communication. Your "rules of swinging" is a valid and very handy tool for development of that communication. Use your improving ability to talk to each other for that purpose, not necessarily for play. Also introduce your wife to this board. You might be surprised at how much knowledge will temper her reluctance to throw away the rule book as we did many years ago and replace it with only one law: No "Making Love" with anybody else. Recreational sex only! Once she joins the board and starts getting her questions answered, you might be surprised to find her assuming some of the responsibility for getting y'all involved. Alura __________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers Last edited by Alura : 08-01-2005 at 01:32 PM.