The Swingers Board - View Single Post

twoplayful2 · 08-01-2005, 12:51 PM

She doesn't know what it's going to be like, how she's going to feel, she needs those boundaries to help her feel safe and comfortable enough to get started in things. Just be patient and understanding, tell her the boundaries are fine however she wants to set them because you want her to be comfortable with it. If you push this any other way it will likely only have the opposite effect, it will make her feel less secure about the two of you getting involved and it will make her even more restrictive. Like exxoticangels example showed, you let her be the one who's taking the lead and she can feel secure enough with you that you're happy to follow and things will go much better.

I do find the restriction list a bit odd though lol. Penetration but no oral, kissing, anything like that? It's usually the opposite and you might have a really tough time finding another couple to go along with that one. Let her shoot for it though but if it's not working out then maybe suggest even more restrictive, that you just do the same-room sex thing where you're just watching the other couple while being only with your SO. See how that goes, maybe add some touching, etc.

08-01-2005, 12:51 PM	#8 (permalink)
twoplayful2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 218 Location: Riverside, CA Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:twoplayful2	Re: Discussing boundaries, what a shocker! She doesn't know what it's going to be like, how she's going to feel, she needs those boundaries to help her feel safe and comfortable enough to get started in things. Just be patient and understanding, tell her the boundaries are fine however she wants to set them because you want her to be comfortable with it. If you push this any other way it will likely only have the opposite effect, it will make her feel less secure about the two of you getting involved and it will make her even more restrictive. Like exxoticangels example showed, you let her be the one who's taking the lead and she can feel secure enough with you that you're happy to follow and things will go much better. I do find the restriction list a bit odd though lol. Penetration but no oral, kissing, anything like that? It's usually the opposite and you might have a really tough time finding another couple to go along with that one. Let her shoot for it though but if it's not working out then maybe suggest even more restrictive, that you just do the same-room sex thing where you're just watching the other couple while being only with your SO. See how that goes, maybe add some touching, etc.