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txduo2000 · 08-01-2005, 12:51 AM

If you haven't actually had an encounter with another couple/single, and you both still want to pursue this, my advice is this:

I believe you have to go with the highest boundaries that are set. So if your wife is setting boundaries higher than you, you have to go with hers. Yes, you might be giving up some things, but she is not having to take on things she is not ready for, and comfort is of the utmost importance.

Over time, it just may turn out that your wife's comfort level will increase and boundaries will decrease. That's what happened with us. When we were new we had much more stringent rules by which to follow, and as we became more comfortable in our swinging roles, those rules became less stringent, some completely disappeared to be replaced by entirely different ones.

You guys are new, and you just have to go at your own pace as you enter into this lifestyle. Caution at the beginning can save much pain and misunderstanding.

08-01-2005, 12:51 AM	#2 (permalink)
txduo2000 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 662 Location: Dallas TX Area Status: Couple	Re: Discussing boundaries, what a shocker! If you haven't actually had an encounter with another couple/single, and you both still want to pursue this, my advice is this: I believe you have to go with the highest boundaries that are set. So if your wife is setting boundaries higher than you, you have to go with hers. Yes, you might be giving up some things, but she is not having to take on things she is not ready for, and comfort is of the utmost importance. Over time, it just may turn out that your wife's comfort level will increase and boundaries will decrease. That's what happened with us. When we were new we had much more stringent rules by which to follow, and as we became more comfortable in our swinging roles, those rules became less stringent, some completely disappeared to be replaced by entirely different ones. You guys are new, and you just have to go at your own pace as you enter into this lifestyle. Caution at the beginning can save much pain and misunderstanding. __________________ Life is not measured by how many breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.