I've been following your posts, and the comments of others, and the revenge aspect keeps creeping into it. It is an underlying motive, concious or not.
Even if you did swing with another man, how would you feel the next day? My best guess right now is you'd feel guilt. Which is not a good feeling, either. Then you've hurt YOU and him.
And from how you said everything went down, his "swinging" experience doesn't seem to have been all that satisfying for him. It doesn't sound like he had a good time at all. So you may be beating a dead horse here. You'd definitely have a better time with a planned encounter, but cause a rift as big as the Grand Canyon in the meantime.
Intuition and Vegas Lee have it pegged. You two need to work on being a couple before you bring anyone else into your relationship. One thing that strikes me is he is based a long way from you and the very little time you two actually spend together. I can guarantee your relationship isn't as strong as it could be, or needs to be, to swing. You two need much, much more time together to really connect and become a solid couple first.
Mr. WS
I was just going over this post with Mrs. WS and she made an interesting observation. She feels much of this wanting to "get yours now" has allot to do with taking back some power for yourself. Like Intuition says, swinging is not about being Dom or Sub, but rather equality. Even if you are Dom or Sub, you have boundries which both (especially the Dom) have to respect. It doesn't sound like your husband understands that idea yet.
And from me, he is way too jealous, he needs to get over himself before you two can even think of taking swinging seriously. And that type of jealousy will eventually push you away. To quote again, "Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive." ~Havelock Ellis,
On Life and Sex: Essays of Love and Virtue (1937) Many people confuse jealousy with love, in reality it is just insecurity making them feel like they have to control others.
Eventually one gets annoyed with the other's jealousy and control and starts to seek outlets to excerise their independence from them. As Dorothy Dix said "The jealous bring down the curse they fear upon their own heads." When one is contolled they rebel. When one is given freedom it is amazing how they often don't take it. Having the freedom is more important then exercising it. Intuition said it in her post:
Quote:
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it's saying, "I can fuck anyone I want to, anyone at all. But I choose not to because you have asked me not to."
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And it holds true in every aspect of a relationship, not just sex. Your spouse will do exactly what you tell them they can't. You tell them they can, it's amazing how often they don't.
We hope it all works out well for you.
Mr. & Mrs. WS