[intuition897]

I totally agree with VegasLee! You two shouldn't be considering swinging right now at all!! I understand that it's tempting because there are fantasies that you want to live out and you feel cheated. But think about it: are you really going to feel proud of that brief moment of smug satisfaction of 'giving him a taste of his own medicine'? It hurt you, and it will hurt him just as much. You should really examine your desire to hurt him, and think of other ways to neutralize it besides getting even.

I know you two have a D/s relationship, but swinging is an entirely different thing; there can be no greater than/less than balance about it. Both people MUST be absolutely equal, and they must realize that they are both equally as powerful as they are vulnerable. In a sense, he has opened a Pandora's box by crossing a boundary. While you don't have a 'right' to hurt him, he should realize how absolutely hypocritical it would be to deny you the same pleasure that he took. And whether you choose to take advantage of that - thereby hurting him - is completely up to you. The whole concept of swinging is based on a power exchange too, just like D/s. The decision of who, where, and when either of you have sex with others is not something that the other can dictate or control without granting that power to the other. And you can always take it back. Basically, it's saying, "I can fuck anyone I want to, anyone at all. But I choose not to because you have asked me not to." You gain a whole new respect for one another as unique and powerful sexually independent people.

DG, IMHO, I really feel that you guys need to work out the resentment and hurt before pursuing the lifestyle further. Swing clubs will still be there, there's no rush. It really is worth it to fix things completely. I fear you will only be disappointed with the outcome if you go into with thoughts of 'getting yours'.