I agree with LikeMind's post (she ALWAYS has some really GREAT advice ---- ALWAYS listen to her and seek her out for solid, practical suggestions and advice!!!)
But I also agree with many others here too .... safety first, don't ignore red flags, and determine NOW what you find acceptable. Yes, it might have been a dumb guy thing, and no guys don't always understand clothing sizes. TALK to him. Find out by asking him directly what he means by "working on it". If he wants to change you this early in the game, not a good sign.
I have been married twice. Neither one of my husbands have ever said anything negative about my weight. I am a mid-sized girl ... not real heavy but not real slender either. I am 5'2" ... NO ONE ever successfully can guess how much I weigh. According to all the medical information on proportionate weight and obesity, I AM classified as obese ... but I do not consider myself obese. It's just that I AM more than 20% overweight as far as the recommended weight for my height and bone structure. People guess me at around 125-130. I weigh MUCH more than that. I wear a size 8/10 on the bottom, and have to have around a size 12/14 (sometimes a 16) on the top because I am so large breasted (38D). To me, weight doesn't matter. As was said, sometimes a person can weigh 160 and be slim and sometimes a person can weigh 160 and be heavy ... determined by height and how much is proportionately spread thruout their body. I would consider myself HWP in appearance only, but I am certainly not if I consider only my height and weight to tell the tale.
With that said... I went and viewed your profile on Swing Lifestyle. You are one BEAUTIFUL girl! (I actually wish you lived in Texas ... lol ... my husband is tall and slim, and does not like skinny women! He doesn't really feel attracted to BBWs but he likes a girl to have a little meat on her bones!)
I say, go with your gut (no pun intended) ... if you are as interested as you say you are in him, and he has indicated genuine caring for you as well, TALK openly with him. But please have a backup plan if the meeting in person goes awry. Have a hotel room reserved, or otherwise a place to go if things turn out to be much different than they started out.
Mrs. txduo2000
P.S. By the way, although my current husband and I only lived a mile and a half apart, we DID meet on the internet through personals ads (vanilla) and spent two weeks chatting online and on the phone before we ever met in person. Never did he see one picture of me. I was VERY self-conscious about meeting a new man as I had been married previously for 10 years to my high-school sweetheart and didn't have very high self esteem and was just unfamiliar to the dating world. Granted, I had lost a lot of weight in going thru my divorce, but my now-husband's first words upon laying eyes on me for the first time? .......
"You are absolutely GORGEOUS!" Now, 30 pounds and 6 years later, he still tells me this on a regular basis.
P.S.S. *MAYBE* his references to "we will work on that" wasn't an innuendo directed at a need for you to lose your tummy ... maybe it was simply a subtle reference to sex as an exercise, with a possible inevitable result of you losing weight???? Just a suggestion.
