The Swingers Board - View Single Post - How would BBWs feel about a man who is only TOLERANT of their size, not accepting?

jenniferblue · 07-28-2005, 08:57 PM

Hi, I'm a single girl starting to learn about this lifestyle. I have a profile on Swing Lifestyle and I have 'met' (online lol), so many nice people . I am a bigger girl and I state that on my profile (blue jean size 18/20, shirt size 14/16, 38D bra said in plain english on that profile). I don't say I'm a bbw because I don't necessarily see myself that way, I consider myself a big girl and a lot of girls that call themselves bbw's I would classify them as 'big girls' as well. That's just the way I look it. I'm comfortable with my body and have no plans to change it. OK....the situation is that I met a guy online at Swing Lifestyle a few weeks ago, we've been talking on the phone for awhile and we're really feeling each other (to the point of him saying he's falling in love with me). He lives about 2 1/2 hours from me and we decided that I would come down next week and spend a few days with him in his town. We haven't met in person at this point but it feels like we have because he calls 3-4 times a day, I have pictures of his mom and his kids, his house, I know his history, I even have his social security number because he wanted me to call his cell phone company about rolling over his plan and he had no service where he was because he was traveling. It's been as serious as it could be without actually meeting yet. He wants us to be best friends, he's talked about being a father to my kids, everything. We've even discussed where we would live with our distance and decided it would be his town. So the plan is that I'm going up there next week and he's going to show me around and I'm going to meet his mom and his kids.

Having said all that, I know that it's not smart to think you've found your perfect guy before the first meeting because even though I haven't swung yet, I have done a lot of online dating. I love the way he's falling for me though and his openess - those qualities excite me much more than physical ones. Ok, we were talking this evening on the phone and he asked me how much I weigh (!). I don't have my weight posted but I have pictures up (naked ones in my private area) and he saw what size I wear plainly posted. I have told him repeatedly not to expect a skinny girl. When he asked me that I told him I don't know but that I've made it clear that I'm not a skinny girl...I told him I do have a tummy and he said "well, we can work on that" (!). I told him that I'm fine with my tummy and if he prefers skinny girls then he needs to be with a skinny girl instead of me. This post is directed to the bigger girls out there because I wouldn't expect a smaller girl to even get what my problem is with this......would you as a bigger girl and/or bbw who is comfortable with her size 'as is' be offended or unhappy about this? It was such a HUGE turn off for me because if it's that important to him then I have no interest in being with him. I want to be with a guy who is excited by a bigger girl, not just tolerant of one. After he saw my naked pictures he said I was very sexy, very voluptuous, like that was so hot for him. One of the pictures is a full body shot from the back, I'm completely naked....another is me laying on my tummy just wearing panties and another is my butt just wearing sexy panties. None of my tummy though because I have yet to see a picture of it that I like. I'm curvy and I have hips and this is very apparent in those pictures.

I really at this point don't want to drive all the way over to meet him and take this any further because this acceptance/preference is such a basic requirement for me. Am I over reacting to this? Should I go anyway and see how it is in person, the vibe I get from him? We have shared so much on the phone the past couple of weeks and I felt very close to him up until he asked that. UGH.....what would you do?

07-28-2005, 08:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
jenniferblue Active Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 20 Location: Singing in the Rain Status: Single Swing Lifestyle Name:jenniferblue	How would BBWs feel about a man who is only TOLERANT of their size, not accepting? Hi, I'm a single girl starting to learn about this lifestyle. I have a profile on Swing Lifestyle and I have 'met' (online lol), so many nice people . I am a bigger girl and I state that on my profile (blue jean size 18/20, shirt size 14/16, 38D bra said in plain english on that profile). I don't say I'm a bbw because I don't necessarily see myself that way, I consider myself a big girl and a lot of girls that call themselves bbw's I would classify them as 'big girls' as well. That's just the way I look it. I'm comfortable with my body and have no plans to change it. OK....the situation is that I met a guy online at Swing Lifestyle a few weeks ago, we've been talking on the phone for awhile and we're really feeling each other (to the point of him saying he's falling in love with me). He lives about 2 1/2 hours from me and we decided that I would come down next week and spend a few days with him in his town. We haven't met in person at this point but it feels like we have because he calls 3-4 times a day, I have pictures of his mom and his kids, his house, I know his history, I even have his social security number because he wanted me to call his cell phone company about rolling over his plan and he had no service where he was because he was traveling. It's been as serious as it could be without actually meeting yet. He wants us to be best friends, he's talked about being a father to my kids, everything. We've even discussed where we would live with our distance and decided it would be his town. So the plan is that I'm going up there next week and he's going to show me around and I'm going to meet his mom and his kids. Having said all that, I know that it's not smart to think you've found your perfect guy before the first meeting because even though I haven't swung yet, I have done a lot of online dating. I love the way he's falling for me though and his openess - those qualities excite me much more than physical ones. Ok, we were talking this evening on the phone and he asked me how much I weigh (!). I don't have my weight posted but I have pictures up (naked ones in my private area) and he saw what size I wear plainly posted. I have told him repeatedly not to expect a skinny girl. When he asked me that I told him I don't know but that I've made it clear that I'm not a skinny girl...I told him I do have a tummy and he said "well, we can work on that" (!). I told him that I'm fine with my tummy and if he prefers skinny girls then he needs to be with a skinny girl instead of me. This post is directed to the bigger girls out there because I wouldn't expect a smaller girl to even get what my problem is with this......would you as a bigger girl and/or bbw who is comfortable with her size 'as is' be offended or unhappy about this? It was such a HUGE turn off for me because if it's that important to him then I have no interest in being with him. I want to be with a guy who is excited by a bigger girl, not just tolerant of one. After he saw my naked pictures he said I was very sexy, very voluptuous, like that was so hot for him. One of the pictures is a full body shot from the back, I'm completely naked....another is me laying on my tummy just wearing panties and another is my butt just wearing sexy panties. None of my tummy though because I have yet to see a picture of it that I like. I'm curvy and I have hips and this is very apparent in those pictures. I really at this point don't want to drive all the way over to meet him and take this any further because this acceptance/preference is such a basic requirement for me. Am I over reacting to this? Should I go anyway and see how it is in person, the vibe I get from him? We have shared so much on the phone the past couple of weeks and I felt very close to him up until he asked that. UGH.....what would you do?