[WiserNow]

This is kind of a sore spot for me, I have to admit, due to a couple of bad past experiences that were no fault of mine. In case anyone's interested in reading them, here are a few of my more general thoughts on the subject.

First, as others have stated before (perhaps not in identical words), a single male in an MFM threesome with married couples should always play by their rules. Make sure the hubby is satisfied with the arrangement, and then treat the lady as you'd want your lady treated while you watch. If you're not sure how a particular favorite thing of yours will be received, err on the side of caution and don't try it until you've discussed it.

Second, unless some prior arrangement overrules, be assertive, confident and persistent....but NOT aggressive. If at any given point you're not quite sure how to proceed, then give the situation a quick re-assessment.

I'm sure a lot more could be said about basics, but these are a couple of the important ones. As most people would recognize, they're dictated by plain old common sense. Rejections can be for any of a huge variety of reasons, but my problem has always been with those couples who accept a single male but then start imposing conditions. Rules are one thing, like I said I'll play by their rules, I'm used to that. But at some point I can't help getting the feeling I'm expected to do something to 'earn' what I want, that it's no longer a level playing field. It's my choice also, but some couples seem to be the opposite case from the single male who's only in it to get his rocks off.

My goal today, as it has been from the beginning, is simply to develop a small circle of intimate friends and enjoy sex. I don't care for one-night stands any more than most women or couples do. When I find someone I enjoy sex with I like to go back for more, not just move on to the next contact. I'm not an animal, not a machine, and good memories should be built upon, not just enjoyed once and then discarded. It's frustrating to me that so many of the couples I've made contact with are more the 'bedpost notcher' type.

Not long ago I enjoyed an evening with a very nice couple, and one of the things she complained about was that she doesn't hear from most single males until they're horny again and it makes her feel used. I can definitely sympathize because the same thing happens to me. This same lady ended up fitting the very description she ascribed to single males, doing exactly what she complained so bitterly about. I'm not sure she realized what she was doing, or maybe she felt somehow justified, but since our threesome the only time she's talked to me is when I spoke first. The only time she's ever initiated a contact was when she invited me to join them, but never before or since. Go figure.

Overall, I've had a lot of fun and met a lot of great people, though in the end I see very few of them more than once. One thing I'd never have expected is how one bad experience can overshadow so many wonderful ones, but it happens. I try to approach each new contact with an open mind, but to completely forget past experiences would be foolish. I've found, as so many others have, that true friends are the exception rather than the rule but are still well worth waiting for. Be patient, persevere and don't lose hope.