First of all Jenn, you are not wrong. Second of all James, in our humble opinion, you need to reevaluate and course correct. You are not wrong, and how you feel is perfectly understandable (for the man, that is), but there is a pending lession you need to get about the Lifestyle, and we will lay it out for you here, but frankly it is something you are going to best learn "experientially." Jenn, listen up as well because you need to understand this too.
IT'S ALL ABOUT HER, AND WHAT SHE WANTS.
Listen guys, at the end of the day the Lifestyle is a "woman driven" environment, and Jenn needs to honor her feelings, and you (James) need to go with that and follow her lead. If she's not up for an FMF (at least at this time), then don't push it. If she wants an MFM first (or formost, or only, etc.) then that's what she gets. This game is NOT about quid pro quo, or fair trades, or if she gets this then I get that, so you might as well save yourselves some grief and arguments in the future and get that now. As long as neither of you "take one for the team" you guys won't have resentments build that need communication to the endth degree. Trust us James, just by the fact that you are a man you are way ahead in the game called "sexual non-monagamy" emotionally that is, than Jenn is. She needs to find her place in that game, and when she does, if she embraces it with the enthusiam and joy that most women do once they get into for awhile, you will then just need to hang on for the ride boy, cause then she'll take you places you never thought you would go. BE PATIENT, with her and yourself.
We agree with graygo and playmates above, in that what you guys are going to experience needs to come about NATURALLY. Be patient with yourselves. This is a game, BEST PLAYED, when it comes about naturally and spontaneously when the feelings and vibes are right. It is okay to put yourself in the space for play (ie: on and off premises clubs, house parties, conventions or what not), but try to resist (ESPECIALLY YOU JAMES) any "attachments" that anything is going to happen OR, any "agendas" to make something happen. It is all about vibes and energy and good feelings and ultimately getting horny (that is, her getting horny...
).
Best wishes,
Love RND