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Originally Posted by hippiechick Then I guess the next question should be, what about him, and if we just watched does that usually lead to wanting to touch, and is there any suggerstion on how to approch this, with out just shooting him down? I guess it might be helpfull there if I say that I have never been with any one eles but my husband, I was a virgin untill him, and I do think I might like it but what if I try and don't then how to handel that? Because I truly belive you never know until you try, the though dosn't repulse me, but if I think I'm ready and I'm not, how would you get rid of the thought, and how to tust your husband not to want what he can't have? Not to say he has never cheated or done any thing to hurt me, he never has and I don't think he ever would. But once the tast is there what then? I know these are all hypethetical questions, but I just dont know. Has any one been in this situation or know any one who has? Also what if you do it and are realy ok with it at the time, I mean I scrwed the husband, but later you regret it when the sex hormones are not there any more. You do a lot of things in the heat of the moment you wouldn't normally do. |
It's true, you can't know something for certain without trying it. This is one of those doors you simply have to walk through to fully understand what any of us are talking about. Right now, it seems out of context to you. And having been a virgin before your husband, it might seem that much more difficult to let go of the idea of "saving yourself" for one person and one person only. Although if you do decide to try swinging, your husband gets to be there to see you lose your virginity (or sorts) all over again when you experience sexual intimacy with someone else. An exciting prospect for all those involved
All I know is YES, the first little while there is a steep learning curve. I like to say it's a contact sport in more than one way; you can count on getting hurt now and then. But as time goes by, you start realizing that nearly all the hurts are self-inflicted...so you learn to stop hurting yourself by imagining things that really aren't there. No, he's not laughing at you behind your back, no she's not actually able to use sex to lure your husband's heart away from you, no he hasn't forgotten you, no he is not more attracted to other women than to you... on and on. One problem we often have is finding partners we are attracted enough to to want to swing with. Mr. and I are each other's type to a T, and although it's lots of fun to have sex with other people, the best sex happens after we get home. The rest is more like foreplay. It's when you get home to the privacy of your own bed that the real magic of it happens. Sex with other people only punctuates the closeness and uniqueness of your relationship with your husband. You realize that there is an emotional barrier that only your own partner can get past with you, and he/she is the only one who knows you so intimately.
PS>> Do a search on here for 'cheating'. You'll find I've posted on that topic a LOT. Most people here on the board have very strong feelings about the differences between cheating and swinging.