[4sum]

While they are closely related they are seperate species and I think that most people do try to seperate them.

Actually having done some lurking over on some poly boards, I'd have to say that's a bit of a generality. Certainly, there are flavors of poly that are separate species, but there's a significant segment of the poly community that swings too, as there's also a segment of the poly community that have "open marriage" arrangements too, and some segments that are a-sexual in whole or part.

I think we're just trying to get an idea how common or uncommon our arrangement is because it doesn't really fit into the realm of the most common poly arrangements.

I know that for us, love is something only between the two of us and if feelings like that came up for someone else it would definately be a problem.

Hmmmm... I think that's true for most couples. But I also think that there's more to our relationship with our spouses than just love. There's respect, compatibility, and a whole network of little agreements and understandings and history that make up a relationship which basically can't be replaced unless we decide to replace it.

I think not risking to make that depth of connection with others is a choice we make as well. Certainly there are advantages to keeping relationships outside the marriage at some distance, but there are also advantages to not keeping that distance. In the end each relationship is unique in it's depth and duration. Just trying to get a handle on what other people's experiences have been.