[hippiechick]

I am very new to this thought. my husband has been dropping hints lately. He always says that he is joking when he thinks that I might be hurt, but I know that he isn't. I realize that my fears are normal but I would like to know how to get over them. Some of these fears are will he find someone better? Am I not enough anymore? Why does he want to have some one eles if I am? I have agreed that I would like to go to a club for instance, but just to watch, and be watched. We have been married for 8 years and have a child, so for a while we had a lot of what I call "bathroom sex", that is we have to hide to keep little eyes from woundering in in the instance a nightmare occurs or she won't go to sleep. But all in all I think we have a very good sex life. So why does he want this? He has agreed that watching sounds like fun. He doesn't pressure me at all, and says you must seperate love and sex for this, but if it is going to hurt me in anyway than there is no question in what he wants, me, because he loves me and wouldn't hurt me and no sex is worth his love(me). But it still stings a little. Also, what if I down the road, decide to try another couple(I think that we should at least both have fun) and I can't handle this picture of he with this other woman, what do I do and will this offend the others, I don't want to hurt anyone. Has this ever happened? How do you know when your ready? Will the hesitation ever go away? And what if later after we've been at this for a while one of us decides to stop (which I realize wouldn't happen) how would this effect us? If your other so stop would you be ok or upset? And when is it to far, as for say you cant get off with out others help? And is it wrong to be upset? I see sex as an intimat thing that my husband and I share, and I realize that it must be mutal and you have made a very adult decision, but if I give away the most intamate thing between us then where do we go from there? I have so many questions that neither of us can anserw, can any one help?