The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Why is it wrong to want friendship before sex?

**Alura** · 07-10-2005, 08:44 PM

I don't think you'll get flamed, Sweetness. There are many couples on this board who are looking for the same thing y'all are, ourselves included.

Now, that said, it's necessary to decide at which point the sex will happen. We are, after all, swingers. Sex is a very important part of what we seek in a lifestyle friendship.

We have, however, had sex early in the relationship, simply because we wanted to see if we were compatible there. In fact, the couples we played with the longest (years) fell into this category. We had sex with one couple on the first meeting and the other on the second. The friendships still developed nicely, and perhaps more easily because the sexuality questions were answered. Come to think of it, we had sex with each other on our first date, and we've been friends for twenty-five years.

Maybe the couples y'all meet are put off because they have no idea how long they will have to "court" y'all before the lifestyle kicks in. Rules are good, but a little bit of flexibility helps, too.

Keep in mind that what has worked for us will not necessarily work for y'all.

We hope things work out and y'all meet the ideal couple.

Mr. Alura

07-10-2005, 08:44 PM	#2 (permalink)
Alura Just a hick Okie Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 8,139 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Status: Widower	Re: I am SO confused!!! I don't think you'll get flamed, Sweetness. There are many couples on this board who are looking for the same thing y'all are, ourselves included. Now, that said, it's necessary to decide at which point the sex will happen. We are, after all, swingers. Sex is a very important part of what we seek in a lifestyle friendship. We have, however, had sex early in the relationship, simply because we wanted to see if we were compatible there. In fact, the couples we played with the longest (years) fell into this category. We had sex with one couple on the first meeting and the other on the second. The friendships still developed nicely, and perhaps more easily because the sexuality questions were answered. Come to think of it, we had sex with each other on our first date, and we've been friends for twenty-five years. Maybe the couples y'all meet are put off because they have no idea how long they will have to "court" y'all before the lifestyle kicks in. Rules are good, but a little bit of flexibility helps, too. Keep in mind that what has worked for us will not necessarily work for y'all. We hope things work out and y'all meet the ideal couple. Mr. Alura
	__________________ "They may call me a rube and a hick, but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." —Will Rogers Last edited by Alura; 07-10-2005 at 09:23 PM.