 Re: Question for wives
Hi couple4FinOtt,
I see that you have just three posts and the other two are from your Hubby...Therefore...Welcome to the B.O.S.L.P.
We have learned a little about you. That you've attended a few dances and felt pressure...and all the things that you should have felt, I guess. A person has a certain mindset sometimes that can affect an evening, but I have to applaude you for going. What your hubby most likely saw were people engaging in open flrirting, if not more. He probably was a bit overwhelmed too but saw that he liked it. He does seem to be pushy or at least not understanding why you aren't with him yet. Maybe I don't know enough of his motives but you on, the other hand, might still equate love and sex as the same thing, if I may try to read between the lines.
When I brought up the idea of sex outside of the marriage where the two of us would be involved together, Fem D had similar feelings. Felt that I'd brought it up to betray her or force her hand so to speak. I feel really bad for being the hubby that you've heard about who "pushes" things. I thought I was trying to pull, not push. It was she, however, who suggested we go to a dance; it was she who had her first kiss with a woman that night, and then cried about it. When we first swapped, she cried about it and to this day she hasn't told me why. She and I have borne freezing temps to discuss our future in swinging. We have had heated arguments about the idea. Who knows what the neighbors have heard! It didn't matter. It became a focal point and Fem D didn't like it at all. I have had to back off, if you will, and let things go where they may. She has gradually gotten to the point where she is feeling very comfy meeting folks and has the idea firmly in her mind that play is a possibility.
What I guess I am saying is that every couple needs to really assess why they are wanting to swing and what they hope to get from it. Hey my motivations are still a bit selfish, but they absolutely don't exclude Fem D from any of my activities. That's where the fun lies, pardon the pun; in being able to separate Love from Sex. As far as the religious fears you may have...There are plenty of "God-Fearing" men who had more than one wife at a time or had a few concubines available. Let the chips fall where they may. You wouldn't be cheating on each other, that's for sure.
Male D
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