[EvilMJ]

when you are feeling unsure like this, then it is going to eat you up inside. I think you two need to quit it all, sit down and decide if this is healthy for your marriage, and if so what are your rules. I think the play together rule is a good one, it does not leave you feeling left out. It is hard to make swinging work without being 100% in tune with the needs and desires of your partner. If you are in it for just yourself, then it is going to cause problems.

Good luck. I hope it works out