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Originally Posted by northindycpl Honestly, the sex wasn't great, but the sex coupled with the friendship was nice. She became my friend, he became Mr. Indy's. I spent a lot of time answering her questions about sex, swinging, etc. and we spent a lot of time 'mentoring' them on rules, boundaries, etc. |
I don't see your story so much about loss as it is about feeling bad - maybe even a little guilty - about dumping your playpartners. It's never fun, or easy, to tell people that you no longer want to be friends.
You admit the sex wasn't that great, so I doubt you're missing that part of the relationship with these people. I think the strength of the relationship was built on the good feeling you got from helping people learn more about swinging. It was rewarding to see them blossom and grow with your assitance. They appreciated you, and you added something unique and special to their life.
I think that if you hadn't minded hearing these people talk about the drama in their life all the time, you would have kept these people as friends and the relationship would have evolved to a nonswinging one over time.
But the scale was falling to the side of negativity, drama, and downer conversations with this couple. The positives were disappearing. That's no fun in a vanilla friendship let alone in a swinging one.
These decisions arise, whether with swinger or nonswinger friends, and our emotions will always be tugged at. But I feel that's okay. It lets us know we have hearts. We are better people, and swingers, for it.
LM