The Swingers Board - View Single Post - When swingers become friends and things go downhill

biblonde · 06-06-2005, 12:04 AM

We usually have a friendship with those we play with. We chatt online, talk on the phone, go on vanilla type outings and such and doing that you do get some attatchment. We feel there is an unspoken rule that first...money is never discussed with ANYONE...not even family it is our business and if someone else starts talking about it we change the subject. As for family problems and job..that would get annoying real fast! Even with vanilla friends it would annoy us. I dont mind hearing some but not constantly. It would take the fun out of it for sure. As for how you are feeling..Well you did loose a friend and well that hurts but because of the issues I think you did the right thing. When hearing about problem after problem it brings you down also and well I think life should be fun. I wouldnt say though that you shouldnt build friendships with those you play with. We have lifestyle friends that are also vanilla type friends. And we have friends in the lifestyle that are only vanilla type friends with us. We share pics of new toys...say hi how are ya....and such we just dont play with them..although we have in the past it just wasnt what we were looking for. Then we have had playmates that got overly possesive and well they went on their way...Lifestyle friends is something that is special at least to us...we can talk about everything and not have to worry about saying the wrong thing (which I have accidently done to people that had no idea about us..yickes!!) Look at it this way...you really did give them chance after chance after chance and well ....they didnt get it. Take a deep breath and know you did do the right thing with these guys and the pain will go away in time. We have had to give up friends that we really liked because they just didnt get it and yes it hurts alot and you think about them often but it gets better as time goes on. Dont beat yourself up over it...know you did what you had to do for YOU guys which is the most important in life. I really hope you feel better about this soon and best of luck to you guys!!!

06-06-2005, 12:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
biblonde Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,020 Location: sacramento Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:curious1918	Re: When good swinging goes bad We usually have a friendship with those we play with. We chatt online, talk on the phone, go on vanilla type outings and such and doing that you do get some attatchment. We feel there is an unspoken rule that first...money is never discussed with ANYONE...not even family it is our business and if someone else starts talking about it we change the subject. As for family problems and job..that would get annoying real fast! Even with vanilla friends it would annoy us. I dont mind hearing some but not constantly. It would take the fun out of it for sure. As for how you are feeling..Well you did loose a friend and well that hurts but because of the issues I think you did the right thing. When hearing about problem after problem it brings you down also and well I think life should be fun. I wouldnt say though that you shouldnt build friendships with those you play with. We have lifestyle friends that are also vanilla type friends. And we have friends in the lifestyle that are only vanilla type friends with us. We share pics of new toys...say hi how are ya....and such we just dont play with them..although we have in the past it just wasnt what we were looking for. Then we have had playmates that got overly possesive and well they went on their way...Lifestyle friends is something that is special at least to us...we can talk about everything and not have to worry about saying the wrong thing (which I have accidently done to people that had no idea about us..yickes!!) Look at it this way...you really did give them chance after chance after chance and well ....they didnt get it. Take a deep breath and know you did do the right thing with these guys and the pain will go away in time. We have had to give up friends that we really liked because they just didnt get it and yes it hurts alot and you think about them often but it gets better as time goes on. Dont beat yourself up over it...know you did what you had to do for YOU guys which is the most important in life. I really hope you feel better about this soon and best of luck to you guys!!!