whew....undecided, you are gettin some good advice here. kudos to all who have posted so far. My wife initially had many of the same concerns you are talking about when we first started swinging. Now for us, I was the aggressor in pursuing things, but not out of hurriedness, simply that she was not one to initiate things. The line between guiding someone along and forcing them is NOT a fine line, but rather quite bold! I won't bother repeating all that has been said so far as I agree with it all I think, but rather will highlight a few points: 1)no holds barred completely honest communication is imperative (if you can't trust and be open with everything, believe me you're best not to proceed at this point) 2)don't expect to be 100% "comfortable" your very first time......you should't be, this is after all something very new and exciting to you. The first time you rode a roller coaster were you a little unsure, scared....excited maybe.......exactly. But that being said don't confuse your feelings, if you're not ready, you're not ready. 3) (completely my opinion here) do not try the singles thing FIRST. Stay together and enjoy each others at the same time, you will be much more comfortable in doing so and should have much more fun. When you are sure you are comfortable(assuming this happens), then experiment with other combinations as you like freely...it's all good so long as everyone involved is comfortable!!
Have fun on that first roller coaster ride
it's a doozie!!
p.s. religion, shmeligion....bahhhh.....live a good life, treat others well, and treat yourself even better!