[jennandjamesinm]

Undecided -

First off, If you don't want to swing, DON'T!!! Don't do something just to make hubby happy. Swinging is something to be experienced by couples together. What it sounds like is that your hubby wants an open marriage. Swinging and open marriages are two totally different animals!!!

From what I read, it sounds like you are satisified with your relationship the way it is. First rule in swinging is communication!!! Talk to your husband, let him know how you feel. If you need more time, then he as your loving life partner should allow you the time you need. He should not push you to make a decision. This is a major decision. If he continues, I would work on my relationship, and not discuss swinging until both of you are comfortable in your relationship again.

Jealously, in its ugly form, can ruin your marriage. If you would rather play with couples, then make that known to hubby. If your not crazy about being with singles, then don't. But if you understand that love = love and sex is just that, sex, the jealously is nil.

Whether in the vanilla world or swinging world - no one should ever force their beliefs on you, including husbands!!!! The back and forth feeling you have I can totally relate to. This is something big - letting others into your "bed" so to speak. We have been raised to only have sexual relations with only our spouse, to do otherwise - society says that is wrong. I believe that each couple needs to find what is right for them.

Don't let him push you to be with another man. Like you said, you don't want to have any regrets. If something inside of you is telling you no, LISTEN!!! The little voice inside you is usually right. I learned that in the real world, the hard way.

Wondering what else is out there is natural. Going to any and all means to find out (which is what it seems like hubby is doing) is just plain WRONG!!! Don't let the religious crap crowd in on you. I know that is hard (I was raised Catholic). But if you are having doubts about religious issues, go to the web site that Brad gave you the link to. There are also some very good threads about the moraility of swinging.

I've just read over what I wrote and wonder if I was rambling, but I hope this helps you out some. Good luck to you!!!

Jenn