The Swingers Board - View Single Post

WesternSwing · 06-01-2005, 02:15 PM

Great post, Spoo. We are much the same way. We are always holding hands, IM'ing each other all day long. Sending naughty text messages back and forth between our phones (I love to do that when Mrs. WS is at Pampered Chef party or some other vanilla activity

). When we are together we are alway touching in one way or another. One of my wife's friends emailed her the other day for relationship advice because "you are the happiest couple I know". That was such a compliment!

A couple of weeks ago a friend's girlfriend asked me about it and how and why we can do it. She was generally interested and very open-minded. It may not be for her (or it may be

) but she seemed to understand.

I think we are happy because we have been able to put aside allot of the petty jealousies and insecurities, communicate honestly, and really concentrate and appreciate the aspects of our relationship that brought us together in the first place.

It's hard to explain to a "vanilla", but the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says it best in his four aspects of true love. The fourth is:

"Freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside but also inside. “Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?” This is an intelligent question for testing whether your love is something real."

I don't think most "vanillas" understand that it is because we are so much in love and trust in one another enough to let each other be who we are, and not not try to control them to satisfy our own fears. It is because of this that we can swing. Too many people confuse possession of someone else with love.

Now swinging won't do what it has done for us for everyone, but it does work for us. It has been very liberating and allowed us to love each other for who we are, not for who we want each other to be. I think that is a hard concept for most to grasp since for so long society has showed us a different picture of the perfect couple.

Mr. WS

06-01-2005, 02:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,842 Location: Utah Status: Male half of married couple	Re: Perceptions Great post, Spoo. We are much the same way. We are always holding hands, IM'ing each other all day long. Sending naughty text messages back and forth between our phones (I love to do that when Mrs. WS is at Pampered Chef party or some other vanilla activity ). When we are together we are alway touching in one way or another. One of my wife's friends emailed her the other day for relationship advice because "you are the happiest couple I know". That was such a compliment! A couple of weeks ago a friend's girlfriend asked me about it and how and why we can do it. She was generally interested and very open-minded. It may not be for her (or it may be ) but she seemed to understand. I think we are happy because we have been able to put aside allot of the petty jealousies and insecurities, communicate honestly, and really concentrate and appreciate the aspects of our relationship that brought us together in the first place. It's hard to explain to a "vanilla", but the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh says it best in his four aspects of true love. The fourth is: "Freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside but also inside. “Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?” This is an intelligent question for testing whether your love is something real." I don't think most "vanillas" understand that it is because we are so much in love and trust in one another enough to let each other be who we are, and not not try to control them to satisfy our own fears. It is because of this that we can swing. Too many people confuse possession of someone else with love. Now swinging won't do what it has done for us for everyone, but it does work for us. It has been very liberating and allowed us to love each other for who we are, not for who we want each other to be. I think that is a hard concept for most to grasp since for so long society has showed us a different picture of the perfect couple. Mr. WS __________________ "God created sex. Priests created marriage." ~ Voltaire Last edited by WesternSwing : 06-01-2005 at 02:20 PM.