[dutch51]

I like what LM had to say, too. You have to go at the pace you are comfortable with, and it may involve meeting a few more times. So long as you are upfront with others, and trying to find those who feel the same way, you should do fine. We like to get to know people first, too- makes things way more fun for us. Like EvilMJ, we don't have a lot of free time to go out (arranging babysitting, sometimes overnite, for 3 kids sometimes takes a while),but when we do, we like to make the most of it with whoever we're with. We do a lot of communicating online- emails, chats, using webcam, sometimes phone calls so we still get to know each other even if we're not in the same room at the time.

For us, a second date is usually a playdate, if everyone's interested after the first one. Because of the time we've spent chatting previously, it's a pretty easy decision to make and everyone's comfortable with it. You shouldn't feel pushed to play before you are comfortable doing so. Where does the pressure to play that you sometimes feel come from- the other couple, your SO or yourself? Hopefully not from spouse, but sometimes we can push ourselves to move at a different pace. If it's from the other couple, then you may need to look elsewhere for compatible friends.

We hope you will register and let post again so we can get to know you better. Welcome to the board and we hope to hear more from you!