[Spoomonkey]

I have to tell this part - we told a vanilla single female friend from work about our "dirty little secret". We trust her and felt comfortable with it. There wasn't a "motive" to do it - just being honest... Which felt wonderful!

She was surprised and told us that she had actually thought there was another couple that were swingers... But not us...

I had to laugh...

First of all - I know that they are not. I had a long talk with the husband one night about fantasies. I didn't tell him that I was getting the chance to live mine out, but he told me a few of his. He did tell me that he thought of open stuff (mostly involving watching his wife with another woman) but that he knew she wouldn't go for it...

Mrs Spoomonkey is well aware that this couple is seriously struggling in the area of their sex life.

Basically, these guys are hardly having sex with each other - much less able to swing... The communication, trust, passion, etc. just isn't there...

But they are social, flirty, party folks who I guess we'd have wondered about ourselves if we weren't in the lifestyle... But now we can see the obvious - they are a couple who is really struggling just to stay together...

We - by contrast - are the "cute couple" that eats lunch together, holds hands to and from the car, and sends flirty e-mails back and forth all day. And - put us with a group of our kindred spirits (i.e. a Meet Up with our fellow board folks) and our "true colors" are pretty obvious. But - still - people on the outside looking in don't see it...

That's great, really. "How could they be swingers? They seem so happy." Let them have their assumptions...

I just thought this was very interesting - so I thought I'd share.

Spoomonkey