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cuteIDcouple · 05-28-2005, 09:38 PM

Since our MFM experiences have far outnumbered the FMF I have had to deal with more issue than the MRS ... we have had our share so far of rough moments after the fact. (we have been issue free the last few times yeah)

One thing we agreed on was unless there were something that was just to painful to endure we would not kill the moment by discussing issues right then (this has worked for us) we DO however discuss it the same night.

The best advice I can give and something we have learned in dealing with each others issues is to never take a defensive stance when your SO is discussing how they felt about an issue .. after-all it is their feelings even if what happen was taken wrong and was not intended, that still does not change the fact they felt a certain way ... I have found I react better and get over things much easier when the MRS is sensitive to those feelings and is apologetic when she tells me that wasn't what she intended to do, while still being able to explain her side if I may have miss interpreted things.

On the other hand there have been a few times when she immediately threw up a defense because she wasn't this or didn't mean that which makes me feel as if I had no right to have an issue. In those situations our issues didn't get resolved very quickly

As an example ...

One time during a portion of a mfm session the guy pulled the MRS up onto his lap, he was on our couch and she straddled his lap as he caressed her. They were both naked and we had discussed earlier this guy's desire to poke around her pussy without a condom was not something we were comfortable with. So I was not comfortable with their position but I had to remind myself the guy was totally soft and most likely not even touching her pussy.

However the bigger issue with this was for the past 9yrs I had on numerous attempts tried to pull the MRS into that exact position and she always refused, wouldn't do it. So when I saw her do this so easily with another man it was not very easy for me to watch.

When we discussed it later that night she immediately said she was sorry and the thought never crossed her mind and didn't mean to hurt me, and with that she then gave her side of it ... she let me know that with us there is such a familiarity that we need to break out of (meaning it's so easy to say no if something is uncomfortable between the tow of us) but with new people there is a sense of higher expectations and with all the excitement it's soooo much easier to let go of those inhibitions.

She now LOVES to crawl into my lap as I show her my love for her, but if she would have responded in a defensive manner things would have been a lot harder to work through.

Hope that made sense ... ;-)

05-28-2005, 09:38 PM	#12 (permalink)
cuteIDcouple Registered Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 9 Location: Idaho Status: Couple	Re: Guidelines for the "Morning After" Since our MFM experiences have far outnumbered the FMF I have had to deal with more issue than the MRS ... we have had our share so far of rough moments after the fact. (we have been issue free the last few times yeah) One thing we agreed on was unless there were something that was just to painful to endure we would not kill the moment by discussing issues right then (this has worked for us) we DO however discuss it the same night. The best advice I can give and something we have learned in dealing with each others issues is to never take a defensive stance when your SO is discussing how they felt about an issue .. after-all it is their feelings even if what happen was taken wrong and was not intended, that still does not change the fact they felt a certain way ... I have found I react better and get over things much easier when the MRS is sensitive to those feelings and is apologetic when she tells me that wasn't what she intended to do, while still being able to explain her side if I may have miss interpreted things. On the other hand there have been a few times when she immediately threw up a defense because she wasn't this or didn't mean that which makes me feel as if I had no right to have an issue. In those situations our issues didn't get resolved very quickly As an example ... One time during a portion of a mfm session the guy pulled the MRS up onto his lap, he was on our couch and she straddled his lap as he caressed her. They were both naked and we had discussed earlier this guy's desire to poke around her pussy without a condom was not something we were comfortable with. So I was not comfortable with their position but I had to remind myself the guy was totally soft and most likely not even touching her pussy. However the bigger issue with this was for the past 9yrs I had on numerous attempts tried to pull the MRS into that exact position and she always refused, wouldn't do it. So when I saw her do this so easily with another man it was not very easy for me to watch. When we discussed it later that night she immediately said she was sorry and the thought never crossed her mind and didn't mean to hurt me, and with that she then gave her side of it ... she let me know that with us there is such a familiarity that we need to break out of (meaning it's so easy to say no if something is uncomfortable between the tow of us) but with new people there is a sense of higher expectations and with all the excitement it's soooo much easier to let go of those inhibitions. She now LOVES to crawl into my lap as I show her my love for her, but if she would have responded in a defensive manner things would have been a lot harder to work through. Hope that made sense ... ;-)