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Originally Posted by lovefest04 Hi Jenn,
...i was nervous and scared. I had a lot of shit that started going on in my head. Why would she want to be with another man, why did she smile like that etc etc. I definitly had to process the experience over a few days to get a handle on my feelings. Bottom line is that, for me, a lot of my feeling were about me. Insecurity, feeling left out (i wasn't), feeling vunerable.
...Swinging has added a new dimension to our relationship without changing what we already had.
It works for us because we communicate and we both know that nothing can come between the two of us, ever. We are a team and no matter what happens late some Friday night we will always be a team. |
You'll never know what kind of soldier you are until you're in the trenches and under fire, unfortunately. What lovefest said about a lot of shit going on in your head is true. It can and does happen. When it does, it's important to remain objective and not let your emotions overwhelm you. Emotions should be listened to, but don't let them push you around. If you normally trust your partner with your life outside of swinging, and truly believe in your heart of hearts that he would never knowingly hurt you, it's pretty safe to assume that the panic that you might be feeling, the feelings of sadness or aloneness or being left out or hurt, are the product of your own imagination playing on your insecurities.
The first time I saw Mr. intuition with another woman, I was strangely unemotional about it. I was just so fascinated with watching it happen that I didn't really do a lot of thinking about it. I never once thought that he might have ulterior motive, however; we went into full-swap swinging after we had a bit of a revelation in our relationship, so we were very close to one another. Swinging only intensified those feelings of closeness for us; how could it not? I see him doing the unthinkable, the most horrible thing that could possibly happen to a standard marriage, and realize that this other woman, no matter how awesome she is in bed or how beautiful, will never take my place in his heart. And we love each other for giving each this kind of freedom. Sex is just a paper tiger for us now, there is no threat left in it at all. Hope this helps