I've had it happen to me and the female didn't make a big deal out of it. It was terrible for me though. It seems like the more you try the the limper it gets.
I think the key, in my case anyway, is to aknowledge the problem and then concentrate on relaxing. The female can help me by assuring me it doesn't matter and just focus on having a good time. He usually comes out to play eventually.
I make it clear right from the start that it may take me a bit to get settled down in some ways and raised up in another.
Probably depends on the female but I think if they know what to expect, they don't feel any pressure to make it happen. It actually hasn't bothered any women we have played with and I use it as a good excuse to spend time to pleasure her in other ways. We've had quite a few guys it seems like who have jumped M and started humping after about the first minute. I don't like to do that and so so far on the first date with a couple, I couldn't do that if I wanted.
I've never had what I'd call a bad reaction from a swing partner but I think by explaining it upfront it takes the pressure off me and helps them know what to expect. If they have done much swinging, they have already seen it happen a time or two.
-D