[intuition897]

This thread is actually something I can relate to, unfortunately. Mr. and I have been married 10+ years now and for about the first two years (I think, can't remember exactly), I had faked it. We married very young (I was 19) and still hadn't quite grown into my sexuality. I was all about impressing and pleasing my partner back then and I couldn't get the hang of having an orgasm with someone else in the room :rolleyes Ah the stupidity of youth. So anyway, one night after an argument, we were mad and had some "angry sex". Something just clicked and I had finally had an orgasm - a really real one - with him. To him it was business as usual, but I was ready to crack open some champagne! It finally got the better of me because I really wanted to share this with him, so I confessed. He was understandably hurt, and it took quite a lot of talking to convince him that it was a problem with me, not him. He forgave me and we moved on. I think in the end he appreciated my honesty (honesty is extremely important to him), but it was a definite mistake on my part to lie in the first place.

Unregistered, it really depends on the kind of person your husband is. If he's like mine, he'd be more upset that you witheld this from him (in essence continuing to lie) than he would with the truth. There's no doubt he will be hurt by this if you told him, and will doubly doubt himself because your first orgasm happened not with him, but with another man! We can all logically agree that it wasn't your husband's lack of sexual prowess that was the problem, but with yourself as you said. It's not terribly surprising that a swinging encounter gave your sensory system the shock or jump-start it needed to push you over the top; in order to enjoy it, all inhibitions should be checked at the door, and it sounds like whatever it was that was inhibiting your orgasming got checked at the door that night too! This is a great thing. Maybe men don't generally understand this, but not all women can just get off at the drop of a hat. For some of us, there's a trick to it. Kind of like trying to explain to someone who's never done it how to swallow, or sneeze, or hiccup. Everyone has to figure it out for themselves. It just comes more naturally to some than others.

Bottom line: it all depends on what you can live with and what kind of person your husband is.