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Originally Posted by LikeMinds321 ... I think you are very focused on the physical aspects of the experience.... But have you thought about the emotional ... pleasure your wife may receive?
...I'm trying to point out that the closeness of the event may be on a level you haven't yet acknowledged.
This deeper, emotional level, can occur and you should be prepared for it. ... A bond can develop that could interfere with you and your wife's relationship.
...don't ever feel the sole point of swinging is to find guys who can give your wife more than you do. It will be something different, but not always more or better. |
Thanks for the insightful comments and, yes, we have thought through those emotional involvements. In fact, a couple of years ago one of my wife's business associates started to establish just such a relationship with her. It resulted in a small speed bump in our own relationship, but we both quickly recognized it and nipped it in the bud. It caused some emotional turmoil for maybe a week or less, but we are now both keenly aware of how those relationships can develop and how to deal with them when they do.
I realize that there will be -- indeed, must be -- some emotional involvement with any guy she's having sex with in order for her to fully enjoy the experience. We both know this and have discussed it at considerable length. We hope to avoid the harmful side effects by establishing relationships with several guys, so there won't be an opportunity for any one guy to dominate her time, and by agreeing that all communications involve both of us and not just her alone. In fact, so far the only one-on-one communication has been between me and her prospective new partner when he phoned a little while ago while she was out. We had a very pleasant guy-to-guy conversation, and I now feel even more comfortable with him than I already did.
My use of the term "stunt cock" and my insistence that he be better than me were somewhat flippant exagerations that perhaps detracted from my main point. My sarcastic humor sometimes gets in the way of my message.
I recognize that some of my wife's sex partners may well be better endowed, longer lasting, or more talented and experienced than I am. I'm OK, but basically pretty average when it comes to sexual performance. So when we run across a partner who can outperform me in bed, I'm not going to get uptight about it or start feeling "less than" as Mr. Naughty put it. Instead I expect to revel in watching her enjoy her new partner's expertise. And I want her to be able to be uninhibited and form whatever immediate emotional and physical bonds heighten her pleasure. We'll have plenty of time after it's all over to go home, discuss all aspects of our experience, and reaffirm our love for each other as we cuddle and make sweet, tender love to one another ... and discuss who she'd like for her next boy-toy. Oh, sheeeit! There goes that damn sarcastic humor again.