[Alura]

There has been some wonderful advice in this thread. It's hard to add to it, but I agree there is plenty of fault to go around in this case. The key is to accept and admit that and carry on from here.

I'm not so sure I'd give up on that couple based on what happened that night. Perhaps it is necessary for the safety of your marriage, but I can't help but feel they might be scratching their heads and wondering, "Just what the hell happened????"

There is a need to discuss limits, particularly exactly what constitutes "making love" since that, in itself, must be defined by each couple.

I'm not sure the problem can be solved by quitting swinging. There is likely to be some resentment on the part of your husband, especially if he feels you overreacted.

One of our rules is: Regardless of what happens during the evening's play, we always sleep together. We tell our playmates of this rule up-front. Our last act of an evening of play has been to make love together. There is no room for others to be involved when we "make love."

Mr. Alura