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Originally Posted by corkwan everyone fucks up. what is more crucial is getting over it. stop picking old scabs and start focusing on positive things again. make up with your husband, tell him you want a break from swinging for a while, and that you'd like to start rebuilding things.
forgive everyone (including yourself), reflect and learn, and move on... |
You have clearly been through a really tough bit. But, I don't want to talk about what happened that night, or what led up to it. That's been pretty much completely thrashed out. A lot of good insight in the responses and a real lesson... even when you think you have your ducks in a row things can go south real fast.
What concerned me most, though, in your remarks is what has gone on since that night. You are making yourself sick with this. And, to be blunt, you are driving your husband away. He knows he did wrong, I would bet. Now I imagine that every time he sees the continuing effect his behaviour is having on you he feels guilty. Sooner or later he is going to start feeling really resentful of you for making him feel that way.
Corkwan's advice is bang on. Other than learning from this experience, it doesn't really matter so much now who was right and who was wrong. You really should let go. You need to forgive, starting with yourself.